I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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