your thong is hanging out like whoa
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
