Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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