Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
