I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
