All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
