You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
