and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
