i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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