Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
