I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
