I wish i was in the wii world.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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