I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
