that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
