Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
