I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
