from now on my penis is your penis
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
time to smoke my breakfast
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
