So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
