uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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