Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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