it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
