i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
