I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
