Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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