Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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