some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
i think my cat just said my name.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
