Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
