Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
