im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
But break dance skills will only take you so far
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
