I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
