your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
