Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
