I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
