And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So vagazzling was a success
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
