You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
