Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
found the other keg... it's in the tree
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
