Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
