Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
