i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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