just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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