so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
