i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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