If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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