uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
