i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
