i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
