We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i think my mom watched the whole time
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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