just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
