Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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