I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
